[Hardy-l] postscript one

[Arthur Efron]

Some days ago, I noticed a book lying in the stack where I keep books I 
have read lately. I pulled it out and  began to thumb through it. I soon 
recognized that I hadn't read it very thoroughly: too few markings. But 
now this book was of sudden interest to me.

The book is entitled RAGE: A STEP-BY- STEP GUIDE TO OVERCOMING EXPLOSIVE 
ANGER. The author is my brother, Ron. He writes many well-researched 
self-help books, and also some books that are not self-help but are 
about difficult  psychological problems.

Ron's name is Ronald T. Potter-Efron.  The cover gives his degrees, 
M.S.W. and Ph.D, and then "author of ANGRY ALL THE TIME," another of his 
books. The publisher is New Harbinger Publications, in Oakland, 
California. Copyright 2007.

There is a section on "Raging in the Brain," which draws on research by 
Daniel Amen, author of  FIRESTORMS IN THE BRAIN ( Fairfield CA, 1998; 
Mindworks Press).

Ron distinguishes  six types of rage. Rage is not rare--far from it. I 
like Ron's anecdote of a client who became so enraged at an insult that 
he jumped out of a moving automobile just so he could beat up a person 
who had insulted him.

There is a passage in a section entitled "From Shame to Rage" that is  
relevant to what I have been saying about Tess's killing of Alec. I 
quote: "Shame always feels rottten. It's bad enough when you are 
prepared for it."

 Shame can be converted into rage very quickly. Tess was not "prepared." 
Like the other forms of rage, shame-rage  has a "message."  Again I quote:
--------------------
    The shame-rage message is scary.: "You are shaming me. What you are 
saying makes me feel weak and powerless. I am humiliated. It feels like 
you are trying to destroy me. I can't let that happen. Instead, I must 
attack you. I have to shame you. I need to force you to take my shame 
before it kills me. I have to make you feel even weaker than me. I might 
even have to destroy you."
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I'll stop here.

--Art Efron